Fire Pits and Slowing Down

We have had an amazing summer! We kicked off June by spending a week at the husband’s grandparents’ old farmhouse in northeastern Iowa. What it lacked in amenities (plumbing, Wi-Fi, etc.) was made up for by time spent exploring the beautiful acreage with family we don’t get to see often enough. It was a chance to just slow down. To sit in one spot, face to face, swapping stories and deepening connections.

While we were in Iowa, I read My Life on the Road by Gloria Steinem which not only mentions the fascinating Effigy Mounds that we coincidentally toured near the Mississippi, but also the importance of talking circles. I began to take notice. Mornings when everyone wanders into the kitchen checking in over coffee. Afternoons spent in mismatched chairs catching up with cousins, aunts, uncles, and siblings.

Talking circles are by far our family’s favorite when they are around a fire pit. We took a three week camping trip from the Midwest to the East Coast. Every night our family and hundreds of other families would gather around fire pits in various configurations laughing and carrying-on, never running out of things to say. When we returned home the fire pit was still in our blood, so we began smaller over-nights at nearby campgrounds.

As the four of us (two students, two teachers) dive back into school we face tight schedules, deadlines, homework, and navigating others’ expectations. As a family we are brainstorming ways in which to weave bits of our summer’s happiness into what we call our “real lives” (although it is easy to argue that our real lives are the ones that happen when we are left to our own devices).

Making time for true talking circles (business meetings and TV watching don’t count) -in backyard fire pits, family dinners, coffee dates, or over donuts or burritos or beers- is one way we can streamline more meaning into our lives. As with any new habit the first fifty or so tries will have to be purposeful in their action, but with time and practice we hope talking circles will just be a part of our more meaningful “real lives”.

  

The family farm in Iowa. Fire pit in front, cozy kitchen inside.